In Wonder.

I’ve not been writing lately and I’m wondering why. It’s not that I don’t have mountains of things to say, thoughts about this and that, ideas a mile a minute. I could write all day and all night—if I just get started. Starting is the issue in most things, isn’t it? The path to beginning something is always the longest, hardest, most dramatic. It’s all about emotion and how it might feel and our perceived expectation—it isn’t based in reality until we actually start something and the evidence shows up. Things are almost always easier in reality than the wonder, the expectation, the anticipation. Knowing this, I wonder, why do we stay in wonder so often—not getting to the action?

What I’ve discovered for me is, the wonder—that’s where the real work happens. I don’t actually have something to do if someone hasn’t created something, thought of something—created the framework and idea to then build it. It’s the wonder phase of life that is often the hardest— the endless waiting for an answer or path to be revealed— the long, sometimes days, weeks or years that we spend in a place, in a vibe, in a mood– waiting to figure out our next steps, contemplating right and wrong, praying, screaming, crying, celebrating, breathing. In the wonder, maybe we’re waiting to see what career path is next, what experience lies ahead, what changes in life are necessary, who to be, or not be, with. Maybe in wonder we’re contemplating how to build our businesses or expand this or that. Probably the guy was in wonder for years and years before he invented the contact lens… or before we landed on the moon or before she left him for the next chapter of her life.

It seems, most of us condemn the wonder phase— and more recently, it seems our culture is trying to “cure” people of this “malady” and get them into action. Lots of people I know leave the wonder—they leave it thru Prozac or booze, thru food, sex, spending—or even positive thinking, self help, 7 steps to whatever whatever. The culture seems to be saying to us, speed up, don’t stand still, do this, feel this way, say it like this, spend it here, move from there, grow this bigger, knock that off, don’t feel like that—look on page 40, the model and answers are right there—the fork goes on the left, the knife goes on the right and for god sakes don’t wear white after labor day. Stop feeling, start doing, and DO IT NOW, BIGGER THAN EVER. Whew—can you feel it?- the hype and speed and adrenalin of getting into action?

What I know for sure—the wonder is the most valuable— the most sacred space, time and vibe that exists. All greatness, all ideas, everything that we know to be true and real and deep and right came from a place of wonder, from a place of someone’s restless night, days of pain, years of struggle. Many people went mad in the wonder—and birthed action that lead to life as we know it. So for me, the wonder, the place of standing still, waiting, waking in the night frustrated, the space of burning desire for the next thing— I’m going to feel it and let it cook me alive knowing that it’s my rocket fuel that will ignite all my action on the planet—and I’m going to honor and cherish it with the reverence beyond any I’ve felt.

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